Amazing Grace

Once, Brad and I heard a preacher give an entire sermon on the sinful nature of drinking and smoking weed. I'm dead serious. Brad and I were amazed. This guy talked for what seemed like forever on two subjects, one of which isn't even in the Bible! What if there was something in that congregation whose last day was that night and desperately needed to hear the Gospel? What if someone in the congregation had been committing terrible sins and thought they were beyond God’s saving grace needed to hear the story of Jesus’ precious sin-atoning blood being spilled for the world? What if? And this guy is screaming at a room full of people about how they should not drink alcohol or smoke pot because they are tools of the devil. It makes me so sad that this is happening not just in that church, but in thousands of churches, in every state.  The me-centered gospel, the works-based gospel, the anti-gospel. People are coming into a church building to hear the good news of Jesus Christ that was commissioned by Jesus himself and they are hearing things like “Don’t drink” or “Don’t cuss” or “Don’t have sex before marriage” or “Be good” or “Do this” “Do that” “Be be be” “Do do do” “You you you” “I I I” instead of “Jesus died on the cross so if you drink, whether it is right or wrong, it doesn’t matter. Your sins have been forgiven. You have been made holy.” or “Jesus still loves you even if you’ve slept with forty people. Remember the naked woman that the Sanhedrin dragged in front of Jesus? He forgave her sins and told her to go and sin no more! He freed her from a life of slavery to sin!” or “Glory to God!” or “Praise the Lord because He is good! You will never be good, but He is and He has made you righteous!” or “Stop trying to be perfect because Jesus has already made you perfect in Him!”

                When we realize that the Gospel does not proclaim what we should do and it does proclaim what he has done, we are free in Christ to choose to become obedient to God because we love Him. That is so much better than being told I have to do good to get good things from God. Or that the Gospel is all about me and who I am instead of who Jesus is and what he has done. So many struggling with countless sin are sitting in Church pews and seats listening to pastors preach a gospel that is not supported by Scripture and it is hurting them. Until the Church, as a whole, starts to preach the Gospel as it was intended, we will suffer consequences.

                I grew up in the Church which is to be expected since I lived in Mississippi my whole life. There are many faults about that but I do know one thing, I don’t remember a time when I did not know who Jesus was. I grew up being told about Jesus and I can say that my parents taught me family values and respectful behavior, although that did not keep them from being called on a regular basis while I was in grade school (sorry Mom). Like many southern Baptist churches, I was taught “the prayer” to become saved at a young age and I was baptized at an early age and the rest is history. From then on I lived my life as a normal Christian girl, going to school, not really talking about my faith much because, well, everyone else was a Christian too. It was Mississippi for crying out loud. Pretty much everyone I went to school with went to church with me as well so it wasn’t as if I could share my faith with them. The closest I got to talking about it was sharing someone’s transgressions in Sunday School without their permission. In middle school I re-dedicated my life to Christ like every other eighth grader when they played the emotional heart-wrenching music during the D-Now last session and then during my senior year I decided I did not want to go to church anymore (although I was still a Christian). This really hurt my parents and we had a lot of really awful fights. I was a terrible brat (there I said it) and looking back on it I think a lot of it was spiritual warfare. I was giving into sinful temptations and doing things and hanging out with people I should not have been doing and hanging out with and it was a very dark time in my life. It was also at a transitional period when we had gotten a new youth pastor at our church and I was still upset about that. Go figure, you know how teenagers are. Anyway, I did not want to go to church, and I used every “Jesus didn’t go to church!” story in the book to get out of it with my parents that I could find. I was a real genius.

                Fortunately, I went to college for a Biblical Studies degree(this was God's doing not mine) and eventually came to terms with the fact that I was going to flunk out of college if I didn't start reading my Bible. *GASP* A Christian not reading her Bible? Say it ain't so. Anyway, I began to read and read and read some more and there were times I would fly through chapters and verses and entire books because I was so hungry for what that book held. There were stories I'd never heard before! Stories that weren't told in Sunday School, people's sins that weren't discussed. My view of David, Paul, Moses, and countless others did a 360 because I realized how sinful they really were and just how gracious God was to each of them. My spirit was beyond malnourished, but Jesus was healing the most broken parts of who I was (and still is). 

Jesus declared, “I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty.” (John 6:35) We need only to turn to his Voice displayed in the words of Scripture to find our nutrition, but many times we seek that nutrition blindly from what others tell us. We must be diligent in carefully listening to what our pastors are telling us at the pulpit and comparing it to what the Bible tells us. Even those men we admire as authors, if they do not align with Scripture we should throw down their books and pick up the life giving Word of God. We should challenge and encourage our pastors with balances. Fact-check and read your own Bible to ensure what they are telling you aligns with the context. I would even encourage you to research historical context of that time period—this can do a world of good in your exegesis of the text. If we are taking in what nutrition we are getting from our pastors even if it is not good, we are becoming malnourished. We are starving and eventually we will become bombarded with events and moments in life that we cannot handle on our own. (Side note: you really cannot handle anything in life on your own) When you become malnourished, you become sickly and infection sets in, you need medication and possibly hospitalization. Eventually, death occurs. But Jesus has come to feed the sick and malnourished. His bread can heal the infected and raise dead. There is no need for hospitalization and medication. Once again, you are strong and healthy and you can live like you have never lived before. You can bring glory to your Creator EVEN IF you sin every day. You are forgiven and you have been given grace for those sins. Now, isn’t that the Gospel your soul has been longing to hear? 

What is (Christ) Love?

We women are emotional. And that’s putting it lightly. We are naturally in sync with our emotions and as a result, we can identify and understand the emotions of others around us. We live in an age that bombards us constantly with emotions from every angle—television, movies, magazines, books—you name it. Our senses are constantly stimulated by the emotions of not only ourselves, but those around us, and those we see represented in art. Unfortunately, this has desensitized us to real human emotion in a way. Let me explain: I don’t think my husband is romantic.

Now I know what you are thinking: no men are. And I’d hesitate for a moment to say that is superficially true. Most men are not hard-wired to the emotional part of life, and what little bit of them actually does feel emotion is suppressed by culture. Men don’t cry. Men don’t fear. Men don’t feel sorry for themselves (at least not in public). Why? Because our culture says that a man who does cannot be respected. And what do the men in our culture really want? Respect.

Back to my husband. I don’t think he is a romantic. He doesn’t get the moments in the movie when all the emotions of the storyline draw to final climax and every woman in the theater is sobbing. He doesn’t understand why the women in a TV drama do the “crazy” things they do—when we, as women, know it’s all because of the emotional trauma, strain, or damage that’s been done to her. He doesn’t get dramas, chick-flicks, or romance movies. (Honestly, chick-flicks are all the same so I can’t blame him there). He doesn’t get why women create Pinterest boards for their “dream wedding” or why those same women hope their significant other will somehow come across the page in secret and plan it all out to fruition.  He doesn’t get why flowers and hand-written notes are so thoughtful.

Unfortunately, I have held these things against him. But who am I to get upset or hurt over such trivial, superficial moments?  No, Brad isn’t a romantic, and sometimes I don’t understand that. But he has this gentleness about him that keeps him from raising his voice to me, even when I’ve had mine raised for a good fifteen minutes. That same gentleness speaks kind words to me and apologizes first (almost always) even when he’s not at fault. He’s not a romantic, but he is faithful to me and sleeps next to me in bed every single night.  That faithfulness even averts his eyes to look at me when a half-dressed or naked woman appears onscreen during a movie. He’s not a romantic, but his honesty holds me accountable and speaks words of truth and life into my spirit on a daily basis. He’s not a romantic, but his peace teaches me new things about listening, rather than talking, almost every day. He’s not a romantic, but the intelligence in his eyes and words always challenges me to know more. No, he’s not a romantic, but his love wraps around me with his arms when he hugs me. That love also supports any new endeavor I take on and comforts me when I fail.

So why do I complain when he doesn’t come home with flowers in hand when I’ve had a bad day? Or expect him to read my mind (or even subtle, cryptic messages) to know that I wanted this present for my birthday instead of that one. Perhaps my understanding of romance is skewed? 

Let’s review:

 “Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.” –Col 3:19

Brad loves me unconditionally. We both share the idea that marriage is a covenant bond, binding us together: mind, body, and soul. We are one. Also, he is never harsh with me, even when I am in the wrong. His tone is always gentle; his hand has never been lifted against me.

“Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life...” -1 Pet 3:7

Just as God made man, he also made woman. We were created to be bound together as something “good” in His sight! Brad’s understanding of theology is one of the most attractive qualities about him. He knows my soul is just as valuable to God as his.

He chose me.

“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her”-Eph 5:25

Christ chose his people, his church. Likewise, Brad chose me, out of all women, to be his helpmate. Isn’t that the most romantic thing he could ever do? 

Women, are you holding your man up on a pedestal that he will never reach? Are you frowning, crying, or dissatisfied with your husband for falling short of your romantic vision? I know I have been. However, I am reminded by Scripture that my idea of romance should not be determined from film, art, or literature. The media should not dictate my emotional response, and I should not listen. Scripture alone can give us a guide to what true harmony with our spouse looks like. This doesn’t mean that you won’t have problems—as humans we err—but it does mean that we can choose to ignore the false teachings that the world has told us. We can choose to look at the qualities that exemplify Jesus’ teachings instead. We can choose not to despise. We can choose to love. 

Words are Wind

I have a student... Let's call her Sarah. Sarah is not the smartest student there ever was, but she's certainly capable to shine. One day I notice Sarah isn't completing her work like usual and in fact, she's got her head down on the desk. Now, I'm not heartless. I do take into consideration when students genuinely feel sick/whatever and occasionally allow them to do this. Contrary to popular belief I am capable of compassion... Maybe. But I digress. I asked Sarah if she felt bad and she said yes so I thought nothing of it and went on the lesson hoping that didn't cause too much of a disruption to the other students. The next class that Sarah attended, ten minutes in she has her head down. "Ok... Sarah? Everything alright?"
 "Just sleepy."
"Well "just sleepy," I can't allow naps in class because I teach English not napping (Unfortunately) so sit up." Sarah sits up but contributes almost nothing to the class and doesn't finish her work. This continues for about a month.
What's the deal? I think. Sarah was a good student for the most part. Sure she talked in class or got off topic but she's 13 for crying out loud. I was terrorizing my teachers like a professional when I was 13. (Actually I learned to forge my mom's signature In the 4th grade because of recurring notes home. Sorry mom it was the only way.) honestly, I was concerned for Sarah's grade.
The first week back from Christmas break, I call my students up to see what they made on their 9 weeks exam. Sarah's turn. Not the best... But not the worst either. She' makes a sound that passes for a laugh and sits down. Almost immediately after I start the lesson, she puts her head down.
"Sarah, honey... Put your head up." ("Oh no" I think "it is too early for this!!!!")
"Sarah ... Sarah. EARTH TO SARAH." *sarah sits up slowly*
"Sarah please keep your head up and be respectful to me or I'll be forced to write you up."
No response.
I cue the others to start working and call Sarah outside in the hallway.
"Sarah, what's going on? I can either talk to you about it or to your parents about it. But I'd rather it was you."
Sarah looks balefully at me and sighs. "I just give up too easy."
Uhhh (can of worms: opened) "Okay, what are you giving up on?"
"Every year I try to make honor roll and every year I don't get it."
*DING DING DING!*  I see what's going on as clearly as as I see her forlorn face. Those words were so filled with sadness I almost started crying. I take a deep breath. Moments like these, when a student actually opens up to you making them extremely vulnerable are rare and can be disastrous if handled wrong.
"Sarah, did you know that Thomas Edison tried to invent the lightbulb more than 100 times before he actually succeeded? And Abraham Lincoln ran for office more than 5 times before he was elected President of the United States."
Sarah shook her head with a little smile on her lips.
"Almost everyone that ever was Someone, had to work hard and try over and over to get to the top. Some of the greatest people in history seemed mediocre at first. Don't quit just because you didn't get what you wanted. Try again and the point is to put in the effort."
Sarah smiles a little.
"Sarah, I believe in you. I know you can get there. I believe that God gave you a brain and talents (she plays basketball) and it's be a shame to see you waste it. Will you come back in and show me what you can do?"
Sarah smiled and nodded.
Sarah did not nap that class, nor did she slack off. All her work was completed and she was like a new student.

So what's the moral of the story? That "try harder, do better" mantra is one we see far too often in feel-good blogs... not to mention it's anti-gospel. But that mantra is not my focus for telling this story. My focus is how important every opportunity is when we speak. I'm the first to admit, I'm terrible at this. I speak before I think about 200% of the time. (That's why I had to learn how to forge my mom's signature!) But think for a moment, how much could I have damaged this young girl's emotional stability, that was already on the rocks about her grades, if I didn't take a moment to silently pray for God to help me speak encouraging words? Or if I didn't care about her excuses at all, didn't allow her to even give the excuses, and punished her instead? Wonder how this scenario could have been different... just by speaking different words.
Unfortunately, words are NOT wind. Words matter and words can help, or they can hurt.
What does the Bible say about our words? Proverbs 18:21 tells us that "Death and life are in the power of the tongue..." "Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but such as is good for building up... that it may give grace to those who hear." -Ephesians 4:29

Our young people are not just vulnerable when they open up, they are vulnerable every day. They are soft clay in the hands of those who could mold  them into terrible pieces, or shape them into beautiful works of art. Our words matter to them and even as they grow, they will remember how others influenced them with the words they spoke. We must keep our tongues so that they do not thrust like a sword, but heal. (Prov. 12:18) This year, let's resolve to keep our tongues in check, and help each other to curb idle speech and gossip. Christians I petition you to practice building each other up with encouraging words that bring life to those who hear them. (and if you can't say anything nice... pray!)