Words are Wind

I have a student... Let's call her Sarah. Sarah is not the smartest student there ever was, but she's certainly capable to shine. One day I notice Sarah isn't completing her work like usual and in fact, she's got her head down on the desk. Now, I'm not heartless. I do take into consideration when students genuinely feel sick/whatever and occasionally allow them to do this. Contrary to popular belief I am capable of compassion... Maybe. But I digress. I asked Sarah if she felt bad and she said yes so I thought nothing of it and went on the lesson hoping that didn't cause too much of a disruption to the other students. The next class that Sarah attended, ten minutes in she has her head down. "Ok... Sarah? Everything alright?"
 "Just sleepy."
"Well "just sleepy," I can't allow naps in class because I teach English not napping (Unfortunately) so sit up." Sarah sits up but contributes almost nothing to the class and doesn't finish her work. This continues for about a month.
What's the deal? I think. Sarah was a good student for the most part. Sure she talked in class or got off topic but she's 13 for crying out loud. I was terrorizing my teachers like a professional when I was 13. (Actually I learned to forge my mom's signature In the 4th grade because of recurring notes home. Sorry mom it was the only way.) honestly, I was concerned for Sarah's grade.
The first week back from Christmas break, I call my students up to see what they made on their 9 weeks exam. Sarah's turn. Not the best... But not the worst either. She' makes a sound that passes for a laugh and sits down. Almost immediately after I start the lesson, she puts her head down.
"Sarah, honey... Put your head up." ("Oh no" I think "it is too early for this!!!!")
"Sarah ... Sarah. EARTH TO SARAH." *sarah sits up slowly*
"Sarah please keep your head up and be respectful to me or I'll be forced to write you up."
No response.
I cue the others to start working and call Sarah outside in the hallway.
"Sarah, what's going on? I can either talk to you about it or to your parents about it. But I'd rather it was you."
Sarah looks balefully at me and sighs. "I just give up too easy."
Uhhh (can of worms: opened) "Okay, what are you giving up on?"
"Every year I try to make honor roll and every year I don't get it."
*DING DING DING!*  I see what's going on as clearly as as I see her forlorn face. Those words were so filled with sadness I almost started crying. I take a deep breath. Moments like these, when a student actually opens up to you making them extremely vulnerable are rare and can be disastrous if handled wrong.
"Sarah, did you know that Thomas Edison tried to invent the lightbulb more than 100 times before he actually succeeded? And Abraham Lincoln ran for office more than 5 times before he was elected President of the United States."
Sarah shook her head with a little smile on her lips.
"Almost everyone that ever was Someone, had to work hard and try over and over to get to the top. Some of the greatest people in history seemed mediocre at first. Don't quit just because you didn't get what you wanted. Try again and the point is to put in the effort."
Sarah smiles a little.
"Sarah, I believe in you. I know you can get there. I believe that God gave you a brain and talents (she plays basketball) and it's be a shame to see you waste it. Will you come back in and show me what you can do?"
Sarah smiled and nodded.
Sarah did not nap that class, nor did she slack off. All her work was completed and she was like a new student.

So what's the moral of the story? That "try harder, do better" mantra is one we see far too often in feel-good blogs... not to mention it's anti-gospel. But that mantra is not my focus for telling this story. My focus is how important every opportunity is when we speak. I'm the first to admit, I'm terrible at this. I speak before I think about 200% of the time. (That's why I had to learn how to forge my mom's signature!) But think for a moment, how much could I have damaged this young girl's emotional stability, that was already on the rocks about her grades, if I didn't take a moment to silently pray for God to help me speak encouraging words? Or if I didn't care about her excuses at all, didn't allow her to even give the excuses, and punished her instead? Wonder how this scenario could have been different... just by speaking different words.
Unfortunately, words are NOT wind. Words matter and words can help, or they can hurt.
What does the Bible say about our words? Proverbs 18:21 tells us that "Death and life are in the power of the tongue..." "Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but such as is good for building up... that it may give grace to those who hear." -Ephesians 4:29

Our young people are not just vulnerable when they open up, they are vulnerable every day. They are soft clay in the hands of those who could mold  them into terrible pieces, or shape them into beautiful works of art. Our words matter to them and even as they grow, they will remember how others influenced them with the words they spoke. We must keep our tongues so that they do not thrust like a sword, but heal. (Prov. 12:18) This year, let's resolve to keep our tongues in check, and help each other to curb idle speech and gossip. Christians I petition you to practice building each other up with encouraging words that bring life to those who hear them. (and if you can't say anything nice... pray!)